It took me so long to understand how much fear I lived with and how it was slowly strangling my dreams and life. I wouldn’t make moves with
because I could not see a clear path to success. I was afraid to fail, which meant I was scared to try.
Growing hurts! It is calling “growing pains” for a reason. It is not easy to be uncomfortable. To look myself in the face and say, “I’m afraid,” was one of the most vulnerable feelings I have faced.
It seemed like out of the blue when I decided I was NOT going to be controlled by fear anymore. I was going to move in confidence. I was not going to be afraid to fall on my face. I was not going to be scared to be successful. I was not going to be afraid to heal. I was not going to be scared of my best possible self.
With that in mind, I moved 2000 miles away. I gave up some of my independence and freedom by living in another person’s home. I can not express how much it stung my pride. I was a forty-four-year-old woman with a cat, renting a room in someone else’s house, after eight years of being on my own again.
However, I could not get hung up on pride. I need to take these steps back to take steps forward. It has taken almost a year, but I have never felt healthier. Crazy part is, I am not even CLOSE to reaching my goals.
Yes, I have GOALS and PLANS! I am not going to let fear stop me from moving towards them, changing or achieving them.