** Trigger Warning **
This post deals with suicide. Please proceed carefully.
When life gives you lemons, they said you should make lemonade. There are times when the lemons are so tart, and it doesn’t seem as if they will be enough water or sugar to make the lemonade sweet enough to be enjoyed. I find myself in this exact situation, which brings me back to California.
I am back home suddenly because or at tragedy. My friend’s son took his own life.
His passing was sudden out and out of the blue. Yet isn’t it always? I had no idea he was suffering so much. Of course, I wish I had found out sooner.
Zack was barely 25 years old. He had the biggest brightest smile. The free hugs button was something Zack would wear. I was close friends with his father since he was eight years old. To say I knew the kid for a while is an understatement. He was always the sweetest child.
Quickly, I came back to California to support my friend though this trying time. I am stuffing my grief down to stay helpful. If the tears started to fall, I don’t know when I would be able to get them to stop. Aside from my grief, I feel the sadness for his parents and friends who are devastated by his passing.
When I was standing in my friends’ mother’s backyard, I saw these lemons on the tree. I thought about how much I do like fresh lemonade. I wondered if anyone else would appreciate some fresh lemonade as well. It made perfect sense to me, when life gives you lemons, of course, you make lemonade.
These were not the first lemons off the tree. I just happened to the first ones I picked myself. As I was making the lemonade, I keep thinking to myself I can’t do anything about the situation. I can not bring Zack back. There is no way for me to take away their pain and ease their suffering.
Their pain was the lemons given to them. It was for them to figure out how to make lemonade out it. It is such an ugly, bitter lemon. It is hard to see how anything could come from them.
When life gives you lemons, it doesn’t always mean making the best of it. I feel it means to learn from this situation. Matters concerning precious loved ones it hard to find the “lesson.”
I am not even sure if there was a lesson for me in it other than realizing life is precious and fleeting. This whole thing has me holding on to it with both hands.